The road to becoming a mature and responsible adult is long! And between the desire for independence and the need for security, teenagers need the precious help of their parents, between realism and benevolence, to build themselves serenely. Here are some tips to help your teenager become an adult.
Learn about life
This seems obvious, but by wanting to spare our children too many constraints, we tend to forget to also teach them all the things that will be part of their daily life in their adult life, to simply face reality. So, don’t hesitate to let them deal with their papers for example, be there if they really need help, but don’t do the administrative procedures for them. In the same way, encourage them to manage their own medical appointments. Reality is also about managing a budget, alone, with the minimum of slippage allowed! You can also leave them the house and go on holiday, ask them to do DIY work, ask them to find paid internships abroad rather than in France.
Agree to cut the cord
This is one of the first things to take into account, even if sometimes we don’t dare admit it to ourselves: you must have the desire to help your child leave adolescence! Philippe Hofman, a clinical psychologist specialising in adolescence, addresses this subject in his latest book L’Impossible Séparation. He explains the peculiarities of modern families and the new affective links which, we must admit, are becoming more and more complex and paradoxical. To describe the new generation of parents, he uses the term “cut and paste” and explains: They have cut themselves off from their own parents and their constraining traditions, in order to better stick to their children, whom they maintain in a bond of dependence and anxiety. It is therefore not surprising that these parents are prepared to do anything to preserve this bond, thanks to emotional, financial and logistical support. However, these behaviours create children who are fulfilled but weakened, who increasingly think twice before leaving the luxury of the family home! So, the first thing to do to help your child on this path is to want it
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